Monday, September 12, 2011

Letting go.

I knew this day would come. I mean, I can't hold on to him forever. I knew he would turn into a young man one day. I just didn't think that day would come this quickly. My first born is 19, almost 20.

Jarod has always wanted to travel and experience the world. He has been saying for the last couple of years he wants to take a road trip, but he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. That would mean quitting his job--the only job he has ever had and that paid him well. That would also mean putting his Bible college studies on hold. He wrestled with this for quite some time, but finally came to realize that if he didn't do it now he would never do it. So the decision was made. He put his two weeks in at his job, he told his school that he was putting his studies on hold, and he got a dog. Yep, a dog, because he has been wanting one for awhile (unfortunately, his parents have not had this same desire) and he figured now would be a perfect time. The dog's name is Kota, as in Dakota. He is the sweetest dog I have ever met. He is totally attached to Jarod and cries and barks if he can't be by his side.


Jarod has been gone for a couple of days now on this journey. He doesn't know how long he'll be gone. Maybe 2 weeks...maybe 2 months. His travels will include South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, California, and Texas. I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous. I wish I would have done something like this when I was younger, before kids and marriage. That's okay. I can live vicariously through my children.

Even though I miss my son, I am excited for him. I know this will be an amazing, life-changing experience. He will meet new people, see new places, and find things out about himself that he doesn't already know.

It's hard for me, not being able to know exactly what he's doing. Or know that I can see him whenever I want to. Or call him and tell him to bring me home some Chocolae Haagen Dazs ice cream. He isn't even staying in hotels. Just sleeping under the stars in his camping gear. Oh Lord protect him. Make sure he is eating enough. And brushing his teeth. And washing out his underwear clothes, even if it is in a river.

I'm so proud of Jarod. He has turned out to be a fine, young man. He is a deep thinker. He is compassionate. He is gifted in music and art. He loves nature. He has a tender heart. He loves people. And most importantly, he loves God. What more could a mom possibly ask for. I'm so proud of him. I love you, son! See you when you get home.


  1. you done good mama! this is a magical time for him. he's figuring out who he is...glad you're stepping out of the way for him to do that. :)

  2. Thank you, Jami. I can always count on you to leave a comment on my blog. haha!

  3. I think a son leaving home is especially hard on the mother. That bond is even more profound since he is your first born! You've done a great job raising Jarod. I think you said it right, you get to live vicariously through your kids--that's what I'm doing, and I'm just tickled that they're letting me tag along for the ride.

    Keep us posted on his adventures!

  4. Beautiful post Mara! I love that you are allowing him to find himself. I wish I'd done more of the same.